When in doubt…
In times of uncertainty, I can be guilty of doubting myself. Often. I doubt my judgement. I doubt my capacity and capability. I doubt my way of doing and even being. I have doubts about my faith.
That tiny voice in my head starts asking the brutal questions and stating the brutal truth. “Do you really think you can get this done? Do you think no one notices you are just wearing a mask? Everyone knows you are out of your depth”.
At the Bushwhackers gathering of Principals and Deputy Principals at St John’s Lutheran Primary School in Bundaberg on Saturday, Mark Blackwell shared a closing devotion that resonated with me.
He read from Matthew chapter 14, the story of Jesus walking on the water. As the disciples see and hear Jesus, Peter calls out,
28 ”Lord, if it is you, tell me to come to you on the water”.
Like me, Peter leaps out of the boat with bravado but then doubt creeps into his head. His faith in God is tested and he comes up short, beginning to sink and crying out to be saved.
Jesus’ response is what is important.
31 Immediately Jesus reached out His hand and caught him.
Firstly, He responds immediately. He did not let Peter flounder in the choppy sea for a period to reinforce the lesson of trusting.
Second, Jesus reaches out HIS hand. Jesus did not expect or want Peter to make the effort to reach out, He moved to where Peter was sinking. He arrived where Peter was in his hour of need.
And finally, Jesus caught him. When we doubt or fail as people, God is there to catch us. Every time. Not because we have earned it. Because He already earned it for us.
So, thank you Mark for the reminder that doubting is to be human. Even the disciples had it in spades. But when we doubt most, when we are in the most uncertain times, God is there immediately to reach out His hand to catch us.